The Darkest Couple in the Universe
by YahooSounding
Summary: What if Zim, when arriving on Earth, picked a different grade and classroom to participate in Skool? How would he manage to handle the weird classroom... especially when the only person he can console with is a dark purple haired girl who can't even be social to anyone? Will these two somehow manage to find love, despite an annoying brother and many obstacles? Zim x Gaz, ZAGR
1. Prologue

All right, I decided to take a crack at writing an Invader ZIM AU! The reason I did this was because the thought just went into my head and now it won't get out! Either way, this is a thing now, and I hope you like it! Enjoy!

* * *

Going down through the toilet base, a green alien with blue eye contacts, a black wig, a grey backpack-like machine, and a red shirt with black stripes was coming down, smiling in relief. All in all, he considered his landing on the planet he was going to be a complete success, and blending in... well, he had to admit it wasn't perfect, but he managed to at least fool the... 'hyoo-mans', Zim thought to himself.

Or rather, announced to himself. "The Tallest were wise to choose me. This planet won't know what hit it after I've learned its weaknesses..." Zim blinked a bit and winced. "D'OH, these lenses are all scratchy!"

After recovering from his blinking, as he landed in his seat that had a big screen computer in front of him, he started typing, still thinking that this was pretty... amazing. Not only did the Tallest give him another chance in terms of being part of the invasion, BUT he also got a top secret planet that he had to conquer himself. He couldn't wait to tell the Tallest about his arrival... as he sat down in his chair in the lab that was now being built, he leaned his finger towards the call button... before he stopped.

Should he call the Tallest now and let them know that he had arrived at the assigned 'secret' planet? He wasn't quite sure... he might want to do more research on the planet first.

And thusly, he did. Thanks to some pretty good hacking skills, he managed to get his computer online to the place he was currently living in. Zim squinted at the name of the town and was about to pronounce it... but figured it wasn't important. The more important thing to do was try to find places where he could research more about humans, how they react to an invasion, and what they could do.

Of course, he announced it to himself. "Now, to find the best possible way of "learning" about this sad, filthy little planet. The more we know, the sooner we can conquer this spinning ball of... filthy, er-er-er, dirt!"

Zim shuddered a bit, frowning as he continued typing, looking for a place to learn. In the end, he found something that was relatable... as Zim clicked on the picture, he looked up and inspected it... a picture of a school building was apparent, or rather... the 'SKOOL' building as Zim raised an eyebrow. But Zim shook his head as he announced, "This looks like a good place to learn."

Zim clicked on the information as he started to read. "Hmmm... interesting... why would they need 'seven' grades?"

Zim smirked as he started looking at the list of grades and started reading through them. As soon as he read about the first through third grades, Zim scoffed. "Beginners. Zim is no beginner!"

Zim smirked as he had his cursor around the seventh grade. "Zim is the smartest, so I should be in the highest grade!"

Zim was about to click on the grade... but paused as he put his hand on his head. "Hmmm... but if I do that, it would probably tip off some people... so maybe I better go lower..."

Zim growled as he was about to go down, then frowned as he moved the cursor back up. "No! Seventh is the best! Nothing lower!"

Zim paused. "On the other hand, better safe than sorry..."

Zim growled. "No! I want to be successful!"

Zim groaned as he held his head. "Oh, what do I choose, what do I choose?"

Zim sighed as he pulled out a coin. "All right, all right... heads, I go to seventh. Tails... I go to sixth grade."

The green alien shut his eyes as he tossed the coin up in the air and watched it go down. Zim raised an eyebrow as he looked at the coin and nodded. "The choice... has been made..."

* * *

Meanwhile, in another house in a different neighborhood, probably not too far from where Zim was, inside, a purple haired girl wearing a black dress and a skull necklace was calmly playing her video game as she looked up in confusion.

She looked around, wondering why she had an odd feeling in her heart. Sure, Dib was quiet, but it was to be expected, his 'favorite show' was on. And it wasn't hot... nor was it chilly in the house.

She just couldn't figure out why she was freezing. It was like... the universe had tipped over a little bit. "Dib?"

"What is it, Gaz? I'm in the middle of an interesting episode here!" Dib called.

Gaz opened her mouth... then frowned as she rolled her eyes. "Forget it."

With that said, Gaz just decided to focus on her game, knowing that things would probably tip back to normal in the morning. After all, she was never the social type.

Little did she realize was that she was about to be disturbed or intrigued by a newcomer... pretty soon.

* * *

And the first chapter is complete! Yeah, I always wondered what would happen if Zim went in Gaz's grade instead of Dib's? How would the story change? Would it be the same? Who knows? That's why I'm writing it down! What do you guys think of this concept! I'd love to hear your feedback on this! Read and review!


	2. The Very First Meeting

Bet you didn't expect this story to be updated, but surprise, surprise! Let's keep an eye out, shall we?

* * *

Gaz was not having a good morning... well, that would go without saying, but this particular morning was even worst than usual. It had been bad enough that once again, her father wasn't even here to say good morning, as he was unavailable due to his discoveries of science, but she had got quite used to it at this point. Dib's rantings about a brand new discovery was another, but that was easily ignored as well. It was when she had went to school... or 'skool' as this stupid town would call it... that things would be gloomy.

Even sitting in class and growling at all the girls and boys that found her scary was perfectly normal, even for her. And why not? Nobody wanted to hang out or even sit next to her. Anybody who did would have a particular death wish. She didn't need any friends, anyway. If the world turns its back on her, she turns her back on the world. But regardless, the sooner she can get out of the classroom in order to get to lunch or recess and play her new game, the sooner the day can just... go quickly by.

Either way, she didn't care. It was just the norm for her... even if the sun came out and shined brightly for her, there would always be that dark cloud under her head... and that was the way she preferred it.

"Good morning, class!"

Gaz looked up from the notebook she was writing in to see her peppy teacher, Mr. Elliot. The kids gave a nod towards the teacher while she just scoffed and looked up, as her eyes quickly fell on this... strange new kid in her class. Green skin, black hair, purple eyes, red striped shirt, black pants, gloves, boots and a red spotted backpack sprouting from his back.

"Today, we have a brand new student coming in, hailing from... where did you say you from, again?" Mr. Elliot said, turning to the new kid.

"Irk- er, Irk-" The new kid's eyes started darting around for a minute as if trying to look for something, until his eyes spotted something. "-keyhole-" The new kid spotted something else quickly. "-bell-" The new kid then spotted something else. "-gem."

Gaz blinked twice as she noticed the respective items that the kid was spotting, immediately knowing the kid was lying. She saw what the new kid saw... she saw the drawing of a keyhole that one of the girls was making... she saw the diagram of the bell that a boy had prepared... and she saw one of the girls staring at a nice ring containing a beautiful red gem.

"Irkyhol, Belgium, huh? Foreign exchange student, then?" Mr. Elliot asked.

"Y-yes! You might say that!" The new kid said with a grin.

"Anyway, let me introduce you to Zim. Zim..." Mr. Elliot paused as he turned to the kid, raising an eyebrow.

"Hm? Oh! You want a... last name, right? Er... uh..." Zim quickly thought about it for a moment... before getting an idea. "Lor. Zim... Lor!"

"Thank you." Mr. Elliot smiled. "Before we begin, do you have anything to say to the class?"

"As a matter of fact, I do." Zim smiled as he turned to everyone. "Hello, friends. I am a perfectly normal human worm baby. You have nothing, absolutely nothing to fear from me. Just pay no attention to me and we'll get along just fine."

Gaz rolled her eyes as she looked down. She didn't need this weird strange kid telling her what to do... she was going to do just that anyway.

"Well, thank you, Zim. That's perfectly wonderful. Why don't you take your seat? There's an empty one next to Gaz right there."

Gaz stiffened a bit as most of the other kids were shuddering. Some of them started to whisper as Zim gave a nod in content and headed straight over. Zim paid no heed to the words, but Gaz did as she heard some of the whispers.

"Boy, I would hate to be him if he sat next to GAZ!"

"The scary girl? Boy, just sitting next to her is a death sentence waiting to happen!"

"Do I have a tick in my ear? Be honest!"

Gaz watched as Zim took his seat as he caught sight of Gaz and flashed him a smile. As natural as it is for her, Gaz turned her head to the side and growled as she continued to look over to her notebook, just wanting to take notes.

"Well, now that everything's all settled, why don't we start today's lesson... er, yes, Zim?" Mr. Elliot said as he noticed Zim's hand being raised.

"Er, I have a question. In the event of, say, a full-scale alien invasion, how prepared do you think this planet's defenses would be? Tell me!" Zim said, seemingly eager.

Hearing the word alien come out of his mouth, Gaz couldn't help but roll her eyes as she muttered, "Oh great, another alien fanatic... Dib would probably have a field day with this one..."

Mr. Elliot blinked twice... before laughing. "It's nice that you want to express your creative ideas Zim, but let's save it for our creative writing class, shall we? Let's start with science and the wonders of outer space."

Zim looked a little disappointed that the question wasn't really answered, but regardless, he still listened to the teacher until he eventually started to drone. Pretty soon, Zim was even bored by how the teacher would point out how 'special' each world is and eventually changing subjects at every turn... but still, it looked like Zim was a little pleased... so far, nobody was even turning his head towards him in suspicion. He was half-tempted to shout out in victory, but he didn't want to cause a scene...

In fact, the only person that seemed to be showing him any attention was the girl sitting next to him. Zim frowned as she swore that girl next to her would occasionally glance at him in suspicion. Which, Zim had to admit, was pretty amazing, for someone who had their eyes shut most of the time. He was starting to get a little nervous though... had this girl suspected that he was not who he was? Would she be... an enemy? Someone who could easily compromise the mission the Tallests specifically gave him? It was at this moment that the girl human noticed Zim was staring at her. Zim immediately turned his head, pretending like he wasn't looking at her.

But he still had his self-destruct button on his sleeve, just in case.

As for Gaz herself, she was feeling a bit creeped out, if not angry at the fact this new kid was just looking at her. If she could, she would just punch his lights out right there, in front of the class. She figured that it would mean a trip to the principal, but it would be considered worth the trip. In fact, maybe a trip to the principal's would be better than sitting in this class... and being stared by this new kid. At least he'll get the hint that she was not one to mess with...

Before Gaz could carry out her intended threat though, the bell had rung for recess. She sighed in relief, knowing that it meant at least thirty minutes of sweet relief. And she was going to spend the recess time doing nothing but play the rest of her new video game.

"Recess time, class! I'll see you in about a half-hour!" Mr. Elliot smiled as everyone was eagerly running out. He quickly spotted Zim still sitting down, as if in confusion, wondering what was going on. Concerned, he quickly noticed Gaz about to go out, her hand in her pocket about to reach for her game. "Er, hold on a minute, Gaz. May I speak with you for a moment?"

Gaz, stopping near the door, groaned as she turned to Elliot. "Look, the guy from yesterday DESERVED that punch. He invaded my persona-"

"I'm not talking about that, Gaz. I just want to ask that you help our foreign exchange student around the school, help him get a better feel around our area." Mr. Elliot smiled as Zim raised his head up in confusion.

"Eh?" Zim said.

"What?" Gaz raised her eyebrow in shock... before growling. "I am NOT this guy's babysitter. He can go around the school on his own!"

"It would be nice and courteous if you helped your fellow student out." Mr. Elliot said with a smile.

"I don't DO nice and courteous." Gaz rolled his eyes. "Now, if you'll excuse me..."

Mr. Elliot sighed as he said, "I didn't want to say anything, but there is a reward for helping your students, and I'm sure you're interested in the prize."

"Now I know you're bribing me." Gaz growled. "And any way, shape or form of it ain't going to work. I'm not helping this guy, and that's my final decision."

"One of them's two tickets to the upcoming G4 Gaming Convention." Mr. Elliot said as Gaz started to turn around.

Gaz's eyes popped wide open upon hearing that remark.

* * *

"Just doing this for the tickets, doing this for the tickets..." Gaz mumbled to herself as she and Zim were walking down the hallways as the green "kid" was examining everything in pure wonder as if taking notes.

"Oh, I see... pretty interesting..." Zim gave a nod.

"Listen, you moron." Gaz growled, not even turning to Zim. "This is the way things are. I don't like you. I don't like anyone, and if you know what's good for you, you stay out of my way. I'm only taking you on this stupid tour so that I can get those tickets to that gaming convention. Once this tour is done, I'm done talking with you. I don't want to hear from you, I don't want any notes from you, in fact, I don't want to be in the same plane of existence as you! I should be playing my Game Slave right now if things were going differently, but my point is... I don't care... not about you, not about anything. So, just go along with this stupid tour I'm giving you and you better give me a VERY good review, because if those tickets aren't mine... you will pay with your miserable life!"

"Uh-huh, yeah, sure." Zim said, not paying attention as he was looking at each door and hallway, taking notes with his head, as if observing.

Gaz noticed Zim was in his own little world and bared her teeth as she grabbed Zim by the shirt collar, making him yelp as her eyes made contact with his. "Do YOU understand me, or do you have a death wish?!"

"Eeep..." Zim yelped as she couldn't help but note the fire behind her eyes. He was beginning to understand why she never opens her eyes...

"Gaz, there you are! You weren't at the steps, so I just wanted t-" Another voice sounded as a figure rounded the corner.

It was right then and there that Zim and Gaz turned and saw the large headed figure with glasses and a black jacket just standing there, stunned. Gaz groaned, "Oh great, as if things couldn't get any worse..."

"Who's this guy?" Zim raised an eyebrow.

"Nobody. I'm not associated with-" Gaz started to say as she was about to turn around quickly to get away.

"Gaz... stay away from him! There's an alien right next to you!"

Zim just stood there, stunned as he looked at the boy. How had he seen through his disguise? The next part came to him as more of a shock as the large headed boy yelled, "Stay away from my sister?!"

Zim yelped as he turned to a confused Gaz, who looked at him in astonishment. Zim looked ready to panic as he was about to press the self-destruct button as he put two and two together. Somehow, this girl knew he was an alien, and that boy over there would be the one to ruin his plans. His finger quickly lingered towards the button.

Gaz raised an eyebrow in surprise and examined him again as if thinking. _"That would explain why he was acting strangely... but even for Dib, it's... then again..."_

Zim shut his eyes as he was about to push the button as Dib screamed out, "Everyone, everyone! Look, an alien is in school! An honest-to-goodness real live alien!"

Gaz frowned as she shook her head. Even if what Dib said was true, she knew what was going to happen... so she started to yell. "DIB, HONESTLY, SHUT UP! This guy is no alien!"

* * *

And cliffhanger! Sorry to leave you guys like that, but hopefully, next time, we'll see more of Zim's reaction and Dib's mere craziness! Tune in next time!


	3. Dib's Crazy, But What Else Is New?

It's time for another update on this story, and from here on in, we'll be diverging from the original series into something a little different! Yeah, there will be some aspects that stay the same, but you'll see what happens!

* * *

Zim looked at Gaz, a bit stunned as she had just revealed the little insight. The self-destruct button disappeared from his wrist as he started to relax, yet he was still wary about this girl glaring at the boy who seemed to be panicking.

"Wh-what? Gaz, he obviously has you under some sort of trance! I'm not fooled by his cruddy disguise for one second!" Dib said in worry.

Gaz rolled his eyes as she glared at Dib. "Look, Dib, I'm not in some kind of trance, I'm not tricked or fooled, I'm just TRYING to get through my day. And this kid next to me is not even my concern... except for this one day, but whatever you do in your spare time, I would like NOT to be involved in."

"But Gaz, don't you notice the horrible green head?" Dib said, pointing to Zim.

"Insolent fool boy! It's a skin condition." Zim yelled before calmly explaining himself.

"And he's got no ears! Is that part of your "skin condition", huh? No ears?" Dib said, pointing to his own ears.

Zim glanced around worringly before saying in embarrassment, "Yes?"

Gaz growled as she grabbed Dib by the shirt and put him towards her face. "Dib Berman Membrane! I am not in the mood for one of your crazy alien theories right now. I'm just trying to score some tickets to a big gaming convention, and I'm not letting my stupid big brother ruin that opportunity for me. So get lost!"

Zim quickly noted how powerful Gaz sounded as he noted the fierceness in her attitude as he started to wonder, _"Are all the female hyoo-mans fierce? Hmmm... I'll have to make a note of that."_

"B-but the alien..." Dib started before Gaz threw him all the way to the end of the hall, Dib screaming as he hit his head on one of the lockers.

"I SAID GET LOST!" Gaz growled as she shuffled her hands. She then turned to Zim with a fierce glare as she said, "Well, come on, moron. Let's just get this stupid tour over with."

"Er, yes, of course." Zim said as he started to follow Gaz as she started to describe some classrooms in her dreary tone, feeling that his secret was safe... and yet, he suspected foul play. _"Why would this female hyoo-man save my secret from being exposed if she says... no, surely she doesn't know... does she?"_

From that moment on, Zim made a mental note to keep an eye on the purple haired girl with the skull necklace and the scary attitude.

* * *

Gaz thought the troubles between that new kid and her would be over and Dib would probably forget about it, but... unfortunately for her, things would get even worse around lunchtime. She thought she made it clear to that green kid that she wasn't interested in talking, but apparently, from the way he was following her with a packed lunch in hand, he didn't take the hint.

"The tour had been OVER since recess has ended. Why are you still following me around?" Gaz growled as she sat down at the table, with Zim sitting next to her.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you know something that I don't..." Zim raised an eyebrow, trying to give her a hint.

Gaz growled. "I'm just going to ignore you and pretend you're not there..."

With that, Gaz opened up her own lunch bag and proceeded to pull out her lunch as Zim paused, examining her every move and trying to mimic it as best as he could. Gaz noticed, but tried to ignore it as best as she could. But every move she did, Zim was copying right back. And the more he did it, the more annoyed she was getting, and before she could turn around and tell that boy to stop mimicking her moves...

"LOOK! LOOK! See, that's the alien I was TELLING YOU ABOUT!"

Gaz groaned as she covered her head in annoyance as she and Zim looked up to see Dib was motioning along some students from his class (who looked like they were just as annoyed as Gaz was now). "Look, sitting right there next to my sister! See? See? Questions?"

One of the students next to Dib frowned as he said, "Yeah! What's wrong with you? Every time you talk about aliens and ghosts and Bigfoot living in your garage, you keep leading us to something not interesting. Why did we even follow you anyway?"

The other students were mumbling to themselves in agreement as Dib was pointing and stammering. "But look! Actual proof that aliens exist right there? Doesn't he look weird?"

Gaz groaned as she was holding her head. In her mind, she just wanted to get up and drop-kick everybody in this room, including the object that had started this whole affair in the first place.

Zim, just watching this, laughed as he said, "Hey, is this guys always crazy or what?"

"Yeah, tell me about it." Gaz grumbled as most of the other students were starting to agree, save for Dib.

"Hey, hey, don't listen to him! How would he know I'm crazy if he hasn't attended OUR class?!" Dib said, trying to calm the situation.

"You're right about one thing, Dib." Gaz growled. "He's not in YOUR class. He's in MY class."

"Exactly my point!" Dib said as Zim started to get a little nervous. "Why, I bet the reason that alien is even IN your class is because he KNOWS! He KNOWS I investigate the paranormal, and thought it be best if he hid in a grade lower than me!"

Before Dib could go on, Gaz growled as she grabbed Dib by the shirt and pulled him to her as Dib whimpered, "Oh no, not again..."

"Dib... what you do in your free time is normally none of my business. But so far, you have been trying to ruin my day, not only trying to embarrass me by showing off some so-called alien theory, but now getting your whole class involved? There are no words to describe just how much pain you're going to suffer!" Gaz growled as most of the students cowered in fear, save for Zim, who was showing interest in Gaz's fierceness.

"But Gaz-" Dib started.

"LEAVE ME BE!" Gaz screamed as she drop-kicked Dib and sent him flying to a window as the kids winced.

Dib groaned as he fell off the window and onto the ground... where a creepy teacher was standing nearby, glaring at him.

"Dib, once again, you've been disrupting the peace with your crazy theories. Detention for you... and you'll be cleaning the toilets with the janitor... AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR A COMPLAINT FROM YOU!" The teacher frowned as she skittered away.

Dib looked disappointed as he wanted to make an announcement, but decided better against it.

Gaz gave a sigh in satisfaction, before noticing that the others were staring. "What are YOU looking at?"

Most everyone turned back, whistling and talking to themselves as Gaz scoffed... before realizing there was still one person left to be taken care of... and that was the boy who was staring at her. She quickly turned to Zim to give him the lashing of his life... before the school bell rang, indicating lunch was over. Gaz's eyes opened in shock as she looked at the clock and then looked towards the unfinished lunch she had. Gaz growled before turning back, only to see Zim was already scampering back to classroom. She growled to herself as she took the unfinished lunch she had and threw it away.

* * *

Eventually, the school bell rang as it was time for everybody to leave. Gaz was at her locker, gathering up her books when she noticed Dib approaching, looking relieved. "Good, the alien's not here! Listen, Gaz, do me a favor! When you see that alien next time, use these!"

Dib quickly pulled out some handcuffs and was about to hand them over to Gaz. "These are alien sleep cuffs. I ordered them from a UFO-zine! Put these on the alien and he'll be rendered unconscious!"

Gaz growled as she threw the cuffs aside as Dib stammered, "Gaz, these are very important cuffs! I can't do it because I'm in detention, you're the only o-"

"Dib, I don't care! I don't care about whatever Zim is doing, I don't care about anything or anyONE! I am already having a bad day, and you're not making it any better! Just leave me alone and come talk to me again when I am in a better mood!" Gaz said with an icy coldness in her voice.

"Zim? Is that the name of the alien that's in your class?" Dib smirked. "If so, then I have something!"

"Like I said, I don't care. Get lost or I will make you suffer even MORE than you can possibly think." Gaz growled as Dib sighed.

"All right, all right, fine! But take the cuffs! That alien has been stalking you all day!" Dib said as he started to run off to do his detention.

Gaz gave a sigh of relief as she took her bookbag and started to go off, feeling some relief. She stopped as she noticed the hand cuffs on the floor. She picked them up and examined them. She gave a shake to her head as she threw the cuffs in the trash, already having a good story in mind to tell Dib about what she had done to the cuffs. _"I'll just say I lost them in a scuffle..."_

With that, Gaz pulled out her Game Slave and turned the power on as she was ready to play, finally sighing as she thought to herself, _"Oh well... at least I can finally relax and get this game complete... no worries, no disturbances, no..."_

"So, I see you're not listening to your brother, eh?"

Gaz stopped short upon hearing that familiar voice as she growled, turning her head towards the source of the voice. Sure enough, leaning towards the lockers was a smirking Zim. She growled, "You!"

"Yes, me." Zim laughed. "Didn't expect to see me again, eh?"

"Don't you have to get home?" Gaz growled as she turned around, trying to ignore the green skinned kid.

"Look, hyoo-man worm, I'm just going to cut to the chase. You knew this guy was your brother and you could have exposed me right there. But you didn't." Zim said.

Gaz scoffed, but Zim was pretty relentless. "DON'T BOTHER DENYING IT! You knew who I really was? And I'm afraid I will have to take you before my secret is exposed!"

Gaz shook her head as she was starting to walk... before Zim grabbed Gaz's hand, causing her to yelp in surprise.

She growled as her eyes opened up, her eyes burning in anger as she turned to the green skinned person who had grabbed her. "You have just made a HUGE mistake!"

Zim's eyes started to narrow in worry as Gaz turned around with her teeth starting to show.

"I have told you many times to just leave me alone once the tour was over, but you've been doing nothing but following me all day! Not only that, but you've been watching me when you sit next to me in class! Granted, I will ask Mr. Elliot to change your seat when tomorrow comes, but for right now, I'm going to give you a very, VERY good reason on why you don't mess with me!'

Zim screamed in panic as he ducked a punch from Gaz, and use his hand to slap the hand that was holding the Game Slave, sending it flying out of her hands and out the windows.

Immediately, Gaz's eyes turned from anger to panic as she screamed, "NO!"

As quick as a flash, she ran out the window with Zim following as she watched the Game Slave flying out into the streets and heading towards some zooming cars. Gaz looked worried as Zim just watched in curiosity as the Game Slave seemed to be heading towards the street... only for it to land next to the sidewalk, amazingly, without even a dent on it. Gaz started to relax as she gave a sigh in relief, much to Zim's confusion. But before she could visibly relax, a skateboarder skated past the sidewalk, sending the Game Slave down into a sewer grate.

"Wow... well, that was something, huh?" Zim said as Gaz just stared in pure horror. "Well, about coming with me..."

Gaz's glare instantly returned as she stared down at Zim. "You knocked my Game Slave into the SEWER!"

"What's the big deal?" Zim asked as Gaz growled.

"You wouldn't understand! My point is, you're coming with me to get it back, and if it's dented in ANYWAY when we retrieve it, you're going to PAY!" Gaz growled, her eyes burning.

"You give me orders?" Zim frowned. "Well, I say to that-"

* * *

With that, the story pauses! Next time, an adventure in the sewer! Tune in next time!


	4. Down In The Sewer

And now here's something we hope you REALLY like!

* * *

"-oooooowwwww..." Zim groaned as he was climbing down the sewer, with Gaz calmly following, eyes shut in anger. "Did you have to twist my arm, fierce one?"

"Believe me, I wouldn't have hesitated to just kill you and get my Game Slave myself, but this was YOUR fault!" Gaz growled.

"Hey, all I wanted was for you to just come with me and be a good test subje- I mean, friend." Zim recovered. "Yes, that's it... friend..."

Gaz rolled her eyes. "I told you before, you moron. I like to be left alone. I don't want your stupid, pathetic friendship. And by the way, trying to hide the fact that you want to do heinous experiments on me because I know you're an alien isn't a very good cover-up!"

"AH HA! SO YOU DO ADMIT THAT YOU KNOW ZIM IS AN ALIEN!" Zim glared as they both landed on the sewer's floors.

"Yeah, but who cares?" Gaz scoffed.

"That brother of yours... Dib, was it... he seemed to care." Zim pointed out.

"Yeah, but nobody believes him... and even if I were to say, tell everyone that you're an alien, nobody would believe me either! All they'll say is that I'm the younger sister of Dib or it's crazy Dib's scary sister... they never use my name... and for good reason." Gaz said.

"So... they fear you if someone threatens your lifestyle or you wield the power to destroy all of mankind?" Zim raised an eyebrow.

"You want to see what I can do? Because drop-kicks and twisting arms aren't my only form of abilities!" Gaz said in a dark voice.

"Yes!" Zim smiled eagerly.

"H-huh?" Gaz was taken aback in surprise, her dark mood slightly dropping.

"When I see these other humans, they don't seem to have the brain power that can even COMPARE to the mights of I, ZIM! But you're... different, somehow. Like, you don't give two hecks around the world that treats you differently than you should. You want to stand out, yet at the same time, you already stand out. But you want to stand out like... like something more... and want to strive to become the best... by proving your own race wrong!" Zim started to rant and rave as Gaz just listened to him.

 _"Oh my goodness, does this guy just not get that I'm threatening him?"_ Gaz thought to himself as Zim kept raving and ranting, not sure what he was even raving about anymore. _"Is his race just plain stupid like mine are? Well... no, because at least my race is smart enough to back away from me."_

"I guess what Zim is getting at is... is that I am the invader, and you are the lowly-life human that has the power to destroy the world inside out if she had to." Zim smirked. "Yes, yes, I can imagine this now... Zim and Hyoo-man Scary Girl... partners in crime!"

Gaz opened her eye in anger as she grabbed Zim's hand. "First of all, my name is Gaz! I don't know how many times my name has to be hammered into your thick head but it's spelled G-A-Z! And second of all, we are not partners! We are not friends, we are not acquaintances, we aren't even members of the same fan club! You are just a stupid alien who knocked my Game Slave into the sewer and I have just threatened to beat you up unless you get it back!"

"Why is this... Game Slave... so important to you, anyway?" Zim raised an eyebrow.

Gaz growled as she turned her head. "Drop it and just get my Game Slave, you moron!"

Zim frowned a bit towards her anti-social attitude as he took note of her behavior. He just gave a grin as he said, "Okey-dokey!"

Gaz scoffed as she followed Zim with an angry look on her face as they went along the sewer. Zim looked around and frowned. "Looks like we'll need a little light for this..."

Quickly, Zim's backpack extended out a spider leg and gave him and Gaz helmets with blinky lights as the helmet settled snug on Gaz's head. As the two walked along the sewers, Gaz couldn't help but look over at Zim with a frown on her face. The frown dampened a bit as it slowly became replaced with morbid curiosity and amusement when Zim slipped on a banana peel that was in the sewer and down into the sewer water. After a few seconds, smoke began to sizzle out as Zim popped out of the water, screaming as he was dancing around.

Gaz had to admit, she found this a little funny as she chuckled. Then again, someone suffering any form of pain was funny to her. After Zim slowly recovered from the burning stuff, he screamed, "What is this infernal liquid that burns up Zim's skin?"

"Water, you idiot. Do you not have water on your planet?" Gaz rolled her eyes underneath her closed lids.

"Er, well... of course I have water." Zim smirked with confidence, but Gaz could immediately tell he was lying. "Obviously, the non-burning type."

"And the non-stinky type, obviously. Then you should know that Earth is consisted PRIMARILY of water." Gaz scoffed.

"It is?" Zim said in surprise... then laughed. "I mean, of COURSE it is! I was just testing your knowledge of your planet, little hyoo-man girl." Zim laughed... then held up his hand. "VICTORY!"

"Uh-huh, wonderful. And how will you protect yourself from water? As long as it's everywhere, you're not safe on this planet..." Gaz pointed out.

"Neither will the Tallest or the others when they come to invade this planet..." Zim said to himself, though not realizing he said this out loud in front of Gaz. "Eh, I'm sure we'll figure something out. Until then, I suppose you just have to be my faithful protector when it comes to water."

Gaz's eye twitched a bit as she glared at Zim. "I just told you before we are NOT fri-"

"Ah ha! Zim has spotted something!" Zim said pointing in a northern direction where the light shined.

Gaz looked over as her eyes began to brighten as she said, in a moment of pure happiness, "My Game Slave!"

Indeed, there was the game device, sitting atop a pile of trash. Gaz and Zim stood there for a long time, neither of them moving. Zim then turned to Gaz with a raised eyebrow. "Well... there's your device."

"Then pick it up." Gaz said simply.

"Why can't you?" Zim asked.

Gaz frowned as she went up in Zim's face, her eyes opening up in anger, inching herself up closer as Zim lowered himself down. "Because you're the one who knocked my Game Slave into the sewer in the first place, because you're small and insignificant, and because I'll punch your eyes out of their sockets if you don't!"

Zim blinked a few times, staring at the purple haired girl's angry face. "Why else?"

"NOW, idiot!" Gaz growled.

"Fine, fine! But Zim only follows orders because I want to go home and be normal!" Zim said as he rolled his eyes as he slithered away with Gaz watching closely.

Zim looked both ways before approaching the pile of trash with the Game Slave atop of it. Zim shuddered a bit as he reached his hand out, as if expecting the Game Slave to attack him. Gaz, watching this, looked on in amusement as her mood changed from anger to mildly entertained. "You know, it's just a Game Slave, right? It won't come to life and bite you... but I can if you don't pick it up."

"All right, all right! Just... let me... stinkin', stinkin'... ugh!" Zim yelped as he used his hand to swipe the Game Slave from the trash. Zim looked over and smiled as he held the Game Slave up in the air. "VICTORY FOR ZIM!"

All of a sudden, before Zim could say anything else, something popped out of the water and ate him up. Gaz screeched a bit as a large sewer gator with three eyes came out and slurped. Gaz stared in horror... as she growled, running over to the gator, who looked towards to see what was about to be his next snack.

Obviously, this gator has never messed with Gaz as she punched the gator in the face and flipped around before grabbing it by the tail and swinging it around, banging its head on the walls. "DROP IT, DROP IT, DROP IT!"

The gator felt so dizzy and sick that he threw up a shocked Zim, still holding on to the Game Slave and shuddering as he said, "I just had my life flash before my eyes... wow, that was an amazing attack on Impending Doom One! I don't know why the Tallest were so angry, though."

The gator whimpered as it slithered back into the sewer as Gaz looked over to Zim in concern. "Are you okay?"

Zim looked surprised that Gaz was showing concern as he gave a confident grin. "Why yes, but I am always fine, for I am-"

"NOT YOU, YOU IDIOT! MY GAME SLAVE!" Gaz growled as she started to run over to Zim, but before she could get it, a sewer rat jumped out and grabbed the Game Slave from Zim's hand as her eyes widened.

Zim, not paying attention to what was going on, deflated a bit as he said, "You know I feel a little offended with that remark. It's like you treat this device as a friend."

"HEY! GIVE THAT BACK!" Gaz growled, but the rat was already running away with the portable game system. "Come on, moron, I have to get my Game Slave back!"

Zim scoffed as he ran alongside Gaz, chasing after the sewer rat as he continued to probe, "I mean, surely, you have people that look up to you... or rather, see you as a success..."

"Are you trying to say friend?" Gaz opened her left eye, looking at Zim.

"Yes, that is exactly the wor-" Zim started.

"I don't do friends! Now focus on my Game Slave!" Gaz said.

Zim looked over to Gaz as he raised an eyebrow. "You know, you really look like you need one..."

"I just said I don't want a friend! All they do is cause nothing but trouble! Mankind has always been cruel! Humanity is nothing but idiots! I hate everyone and everything, can't you take a hint?!" Gaz yelled, staring at Zim with anger.

"Then why did you insist that we go down to a sewer and get your game thingy back?" Zim said as he and Gaz rounded a corner. "You don't seem to hate THAT?!"

"It's complicated, okay? Now shove off and focus on getting my Game Slave back, then we won't have to talk ever again!" Gaz screamed in his face as Zim winced a little.

He had to admit, out of all the humans he had met so far, none of them had quite a fierce personality as this girl, but he knew she was hiding something... something big... and Zim wanted to find that out...

Pretty soon, Zim and Gaz had rounded a corner as the sewer rat climbed up some steps and put the Game Slave atop some rare jewelry. Both the male alien and female human stopped as both of them were looking around this huge area that the rat had stopped in... containing a lot of sewage and trash, but also lost items and socks... and sitting atop that pile was a man in a beard, a black mask, a black cape and torn, dirty overalls as he gave a smile.

"Well, howdy strangers! Welcome to the Land of the Absent! AKA, my main domain!" The man said with a crazy hick voice.

Zim just stared in confusion as Gaz raised an eyebrow in curiosity, wondering what the heck was going on...

* * *

And the story's chapter will end here! Next time, we'll get introduced to the crazy man in the sewers and find out JUST who he is! And will Gaz eventually warm up to Zim? Tune in next time!


	5. Warming Up To An Idiot

Time for the next chapter!

* * *

"Eh?" Zim blinked.

"The Land of the Absent! A land where lost objects wash away and get carried off... a place far beyond Earth..." The crazy sewer guy said with a country laugh.

Gaz just stared at the man with an angry look as Zim raised an eyebrow. "So... we're not on Earth?"

"No, moron, we are! This man has just never seen the sunlight in several years!" Gaz groaned, holding her head.

"And you are indeed correct! Long have I yearned to see the sunlight... see what has happened to my people since my fall down the rabbit hole! I ended up in this fabled land, and when no one else was around, I claim the stuff in here as mine." The crazy sewer man explained.

"Cool story." Gaz said with a sarcastic voice... before saying in a deadpan voice. "Now, if I can just pick up my Game Slave that rat dragged in-"

"DENIED!" The crazy sewer guy said, swiping the game system from the pile, causing Gaz's eyes to widen.

Zim raised an eyebrow with a smirk on his face. "I only know this girl for a few hours, but even I know that you shouldn't have done that."

The man wasn't listening as he held the Game Slave up over his head with a triumphant smirk. "Everything that goes to the Land of the Absent is declared my property now! That bouquet of flowers over there, mine. That broken television with the bookshelf... mine! The dead goldfish that clutter around the pile... mine, mine, all mine! And now, this little Game Slave is mi-"

The man yelped as he felt a swift kick in the ribs as he stumbled a bit. Gaz growled angrily as the man looked down towards the girl, who just put her leg down as her eyes were opened, fire surrounding them as she said, "You're going to face my wrath!"

Gaz screeched in an animal like manner as she jumped on her head and attempted to bite his nose, causing the man to yelp... he frowned as he waved his head around and bashed Gaz's body in, causing her to yelp.

Zim, watching this, seemed a bit interested in the fight as he commented to himself, "Interesting just how savage someone can be just to get an item back... hmmm... interesting... very interesting indeed..."

Zim immediately had an idea cooking up in his tiny mind... a small one, but it was a set-up for a plan. Quickly, his PAK opened up as a microphone appeared. Zim quickly spoke into it. "GIR, I know you've only begun to examine life for humans undercover, but I need you to come over right away! There isn't much time!"

"Who is this?" A crazy robotic voice said over some sort of slurping going on and noise in the background, presumably from a turned-on TV.

The green alien disguised as a human could only facepalm. "It's me, GIR! Your master! The guy who commands you! Just get over to where I am, and make sure to bring a camera! I don't want to miss every second of what I'm witnessing!"

The communicator then went streaking back into his PAK as he turned back to the fight.

Gaz growled as she was being held by her shirt by the man as the man gave a growl. "You, young lady, need a proper time-out!"

"And you, crazy man, need to have your legs bitten off!" Gaz growled as she started to glow a bit. Zim took notice of the glow in interest as he paused.

"That glow... it looks pretty powerful..." Zim said as he tapped his foot impatiently as he called out, "Hey, you need me over here..."

"NO! I'M FINE BY MYSELF!" Gaz screamed over at Zim before lifting up her hands as dead goldfish levitated and started to charge straight at the man.

The man frowned as he jumped up with Gaz in hand and dove down to the trash, causing Gaz's head to hit a nearby kitchen sink, causing her to lose focus as the purple glow stopped.

Gaz groaned a bit as she said, "It's going to take more than a blow to the head to stop me! Now where are you...?"

All of a sudden, a hand grabbed Gaz by the leg, causing her to yelp as she felt herself being dragged down. "HEY! LET GO!"

Zim, watching this fight between the little girl and dirty old man, just idly stood by as he said, "Aren't you glad I'm not helping? It's what you wanted, isn't it?"

The alien chuckled to himself as he rolled his eyes. "Pathetic humans..."

Zim then raised an eyebrow in concern as he looked over towards the struggling Gaz. _"Most of ZIM is hoping she wins..."_

Gaz groaned as she tried to struggle, trying to bend down to a sitting position to grab the crazy sewer man's hand and pry it off her leg, but she found herself being swung around as a clear crack was heard. Gaz bit her lip, trying not to scream in pain as she was looking worried. "How are you... so persistent? I... never... lose..."

The hand then let go of Gaz as she fell down on the floor. Gaz tried to get up on her legs, but she felt herself wincing in pain as she fell back down. The crazy sewer guy then popped up, holding the Game Slave in hand as he laughed. "Welp, just living in the Land of the Absent and rigorous training skills I found in a book would suffice. Whoo-ey, you sure are an angry one. Tell you what, let's compromise..."

Gaz growled as she was about to get up on her unbroken leg. "What ar-"

SNAP.

Gaz's eyes went white in shock and horror as her precious Game Slave had been split in two. The crazy sewer guy smiled as he said, "To show no hard feelings, you get half, and I get half!"

"Y-you... y-you..." Gaz growled as she tried to get up angrily... but yelped as she felt the leg on her pain.

It was right at that moment a huge white cloud of dust appeared from behind Zim. Zim turned around in relief as he saw GIR (in his dog suit) flying in, holding what seemed to be a bag in hand.

"GIR, excellent! Now to see what happens when two humans..." Zim said as he grabbed the item from GIR... only to open the bag and see... Zim frowned as he turned to the robot with a glare. "GIR... why does this bag contain a bass trophy?"

"AH BAGGED ME A GOOD ONE!" GIR said in a random voice.

"This is USELESS!" Zim yelled as he threw the singing bass right at the crazy sewer man, clonking him on the head.

"Ow..." the man groaned as he opened his hand, letting both pieces of the Game Slave fall in front of Gaz as she just stared at them. "Ooooh..."

The man then fell into the water below as he laid face flat as the water carried him along, as his face made bubbles. Zim blinked in confusion as he said, "What happened?"

Gaz couldn't help but watch as two dark souls flew out of her Game Slave, as if she had lost a friend. Zim paused as he looked over at a very traumatized Gaz with GIR just looking at both of them.

"Awww... she looks sad." GIR said.

"Well, she did get her wish. She got that game system back. Well, I guess we better leave her to it, then." Zim said as he hopped on GIR. "GIR, take us to the base."

Zim paused as he didn't feel movement from GIR. "GIR, I said..."

It was then Zim noticed that the dog costume GIR was wearing was conveying a very sad face. Zim frowned as he was starting to realize what GIR was sad about. "No, GIR. You don't even know her. I do... in more ways than I can count. We aren't staying!"

GIR's eyes then started to water as Zim looked concerned. "Uh, GIR, are you leaking? Did the Tallest create you with a leak in mind? Because-"

The alien then looked back at Gaz as he noticed something that he didn't think anybody had... Gaz's furious anger had been replaced with tears... anger and tears. Zim groaned as he turned to GIR and sighed. "Fine. But I'm only doing it this once! Don't expect me to make it a habit!"

Zim then took a deep breath as he marched over to Gaz. Gaz, upon looking up, growled as she crossed her arms. "Leave me alone. Can't you see you already ruined my day?"

Zim said nothing as he grabbed the two pieces of the Game Slave as Gaz growled. "Let go of my Game Slave! I swear to God, I-"

Zim then turned around as his PAK extracted out a few devices as Gaz was trying to get up. "You're... ow! You're going to- Ergh! I'll freaking kill-"

The alien then turned around as Gaz stopped talking as her eyes opened up, not in anger, or with hatred... but pure, unadulterated surprise. In Zim's hands was Gaz's Game Slave, all fixed up and brand new. Zim then handed Gaz the game device over as she examined it in every angle. Curious, she pushed the power button on... and sure enough, the Vampire Piggy Hunter game turned on, but the screen was a bit brighter.

"I just thought, since this was my fault in the first place, you should have your game fixed. And you have it back now, so, I guess it makes us even." Zim said.

"I- I-" Gaz said as she looked at the game system handheld at every angle. "You even fixed the little crack I made on it when I dropped it a couple years ago!"

"You mean, that was always there?" Zim winced. "Sorry, do you want me to-"

"No, idiot!" Gaz frowned... before giving a warm smile. "It's great. More than great really. Uh... well... thank you, I suppose."

Zim smiled in triumph as he turned around, "Well, I guess I'm going then."

"H-huh?" Gaz said in surprise.

"You said that once I get you your game thingy back, you wanted to be left alone. So, that's it, then. We'll never talk to each other again." Zim said.

"Oh... right." Gaz paused as she looked down as Zim walked over and hopped on GIR. "Then... I guess see you never."

Zim nodded as he laughed, "Right on, worm baby..."

Zim was about to order GIR to go off... when he heard Gaz's muffled cries of pain. He turned back to see Gaz trying to limp on her leg. Zim paused as he looked down, wondering why he would care about this particular human... before groaning. Even he couldn't believe he was doing it. "How about I just take you home instead?"

"H-huh?" Gaz said in surprise. "I-"

"Don't argue with ZIM! You fought a good battle and you got hurt! The least I can do is take you back home, THEN we never see each other again! Except in classes, and even then, we just ignore each other!" Zim frowned.

"Well, I..." Gaz looked down as she felt her leg and winced. She looked up and sighed. "I guess... one ride home wouldn't hurt. How do we get home?"

Zim reached over to Gaz with his hand out. Gaz paused as she opened her hand and took Zim's as he pulled her up to his lap. Zim then asked, "Where do you live?"

"Membrane Residence, 555 Bunyon Road." Gaz explained as she clung on to Zim.

"You heard the hyoo-man, GIR! To there!" Zim said.

"WHEEEE!" GIR yelled as he started to blast off, with Gaz clinging tightly to his body and Zim hanging on to GIR's ears. Zim started to scream as Gaz was feeling a great thrill of her life. She would even compare this experience to a roller coaster. Pretty soon, they found themselves out of the sewers and roaming along the streets as Zim called, "You're going to have to give me the turns!"

"Okay, okay! Where are we now?" Gaz asked.

"Some place that serves... pizza?" Zim said, looking around. "It has a fat looking pig for a mascot!'

Gaz's eyes brightened. "Fat looking pig, you say? I know the way home from there!"

"You've been here before?" Zim asked.

"Well... I go there at times... anyway, you're going to need to go straight until you come to the second stoplight." Gaz said. "Then take a left. After going around a traffic circle, keep heading north, then turn right. My house is the grey one with literal electric fences surrounding the yard."

She felt GIR moving as Gaz paused as she looked at the alien who fixed her video game device as she noticed a determined look on his face, yet a worried one at the same time as he was trying to focus on controlling the robotic dog they were riding. Pretty soon, she felt the robotic dog stop as Zim looked over. "I think this is the place."

Gaz looked over and gave a smile upon seeing the familiar building she called home in front of her. "Thanks for the ride... m-moron."

"YOU ARE MOST CERTAINLY WELCOME!" Zim screamed out... before turning to GIR. "All right, GIR, prepare to take me ba-" Zim then turned to Gaz. "Can you... can you walk to your place of residence from here?"

Gaz looked over at her house and measured the distance. "Yeah, but..."

"THEN YOU NEED NO FURTHER ASSISTANCE!" Zim said as he hopped on GIR. "GIR, prepare to-"

"HEY!" Gaz growled, stopping Zim. "Who said I was done with you?"

"Eh? But you said th-" Zim started.

"When I say I'm not done with you, I am NOT DONE with you. Yeah, I can walk from here to the door... but I don't think my bad leg can make me go any further than that. I-I-" Gaz groaned. "My dad doesn't come home until late, and my brother's probably not going to arrive home until six, when detention is out so... I guess what I'm trying to say is... Assist me, or face my wrath!"

As Gaz said that with a growly face, Zim gave a smile as he was starting to understand what Gaz was trying to say... and he liked it. "GIR, stay here. Make sure you're still outside when I'm done."

"OKEY DOKEY!" GIR said as he started to open his dog suit up to reveal his robot head as it popped open a couple cupcakes as he ate them.

"All right, come on." Zim said as he put Gaz in his arms, levitating her bad leg a bit as he carried her to the door as she pulled out a key and unlocked the door. As soon as the door opened up, a monitor with a scientist's face on it, appeared as it said, "Welcome home..."

Gaz then looked over and pushed a button on it.

"...Daughter and her special guests! Oh, how exciting for you, my daughter. Your very first friend!" The scientist said in excitement before it flew off.

Zim raised an eyebrow in confusion as he turned to Gaz, who sighed. "Don't take it as a sign or anything. I usually don't bring guests... but you are the first one I brought so... I suppose... just take me over to the couch."

Zim quickly nodded as he brought Gaz over and laid her down on the couch in front of the TV. Zim looked over at Gaz as she pulled out her new and refurbished Game Slave from her pocket. "Feel better?"

Gaz nodded. Zim gave a nod "Then MY DUTY IS COMPLETE! AND NOW..."

"It was my mom's."

Zim stopped mid-victory speech as he looked over at Gaz in confusion. "Huh?"

"You asked why I cared for this Game Slave. Well... this was my mom's Game Slave. She bought it back before I was born. She only had two games at the time... Vampire Piggy Hunter and a quick puzzle game on there. But I mostly played Vampire Piggy Hunter on there because... well, it was my mom's favorite game. I always beat it every time just to see how well I can do... but well, she died when Dib and I were really young." Gaz sighed.

"Oh." Zim said. "Th-thanks for telling me."

"You're welcome." Gaz said as she looked at the Game Slave.

Zim paused as he looked at Gaz in curiosity. "What's it like, having parents?"

"Why?" Gaz asked in curiosity.

"I don't know. I guess the only form of love I know is the love of invading. Irkens are... usually born in test tubes... I mean, not that I AM an Irken myself- or what is even an Irken, I-" Zim groaned as he covered his head.

Gaz laughed a bit as she turned to Zim. "So, you're a test tube baby, huh?"

"Most of my... er- I mean, no!" Zim crossed his arms in annoyance.

Gaz rolled her eyes, not in anger, but in amusement. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. My brother and I were made from a test tube too."

Zim looked at Gaz in surprise as Gaz sighed, "Look, I think you probably notice this, but humanity, with a couple exceptions, can suck it for all I care. I know you're an alien from another world, and I actually kind of hope you conquer it and make it a better place. Humanity took away my mother, so why should I care about it?"

"You really think I have the skills to take over Earth?" Zim said in interest.

Gaz shrugged. "Eh, why not?"

"YES! YES! Not one day on Earth and I already have a human slave on my side!" Zim said, holding his arms up... before pausing as he looked at Gaz. "Though, looking at how scary you are, I don't think human slave fits you. How about... human bodyguard? You have the right skills!"

"Oh, stop." Gaz laughed a bit.

"I'm serious. The way you throw your brother around, the way you beat me up, even when you went up against that crazy sewer guy, you just scream to me, human bodyguard on my side!" Zim laughed with Gaz.

"You know, I would hit you, but I know you're right!" Gaz giggled as Zim sat down on the couch next to her. "Actually, how about this? If you're going to take over the world... then you need a partner."

"I already have one with GIR! And even then, I don't need anybody else!" Zim gave a frown.

"Not with robots." Gaz shook her head. "I was thinking... a human willing to work alongside you... who's willing to be by your side!"

Zim blinked in confusion as Gaz looked over and rolled her eyes. "I'm talking about me, moron!"

"Oh!" Zim said in surprise. "But then who will I have as the human bodyguard..."

Gaz laughed as she said, "When we take over the world, you'll find better bodyguards!"

"We?" Zim said in surprise.

"That's right, moron. Whatever you're planning, I want in." Gaz gave an evil smirk, one that Zim found attractive.

Zim paused as he smiled, "Is this because I fixed your gaming device."

"Maybe." Gaz giggled. "Or maybe I feel like you and I would make a very good team."

"I thought you said you didn't want friends." Zim raised an eyebrow.

Gaz's grin grew wider. "Who said I didn't want ALIEN friends?"

Zim gave a laugh as he said, "Sweet little tough pig, you got yourself a partnership!"

"Call me Gaz." Gaz chuckled darkly. "Want to stay around for a while?"

"I have plenty of time..." Zim said as Gaz pulled out her Game Slave. "You know, I didn't just fix the Game Slave... I improved on it."

"How so?" Gaz asked before the PAK on Zim's back pulled out a similar Game Slave with cable attached.

"My PAK examined your device while fixing it, so if you ever wanted to play multiplayer... I think I'm the best gamer where I'm from!" Zim smirked, holding the game.

"Is that a challenge?" Gaz raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yes." Zim darkened his eyes as Gaz gave a smirk, attaching his cable to her Game Slave.

"Don't expect me to go easy on you." Gaz warned. "I'm a very good player."

"So am I." Zim smirked back at his brand new friend.

As Gaz and Zim sat together playing through a round of Vampire Piggy Hunter, with Gaz having to help Zim get a better feel for the controls, both of them had a very dark smile on their face. Neither of them would have thought they'd find a perfect likeness with each other, but Gaz was having the most fun in her life, battling against Zim in her element. She had to admit though, Zim was a pretty good gamer... she smiled a little. Maybe she could get used to having a new friend...

As for Zim, he didn't quite know why he was so attracted to the purple haired girl, but deep down, he knew that he had somehow managed his way into the human girl's emotions. One human slave... no, partner for his upcoming quest of taking over the Earth... but deep down, he knew that there would be a time where eventually, the Armada would come to take over the Earth... for now though, this human girl was going to be his anchor, his guide, his help across the planet... it does help that she already hates humanity. And yet, Zim couldn't help but find this girl beautiful... he had no idea why that is...

Little unknown to Zim and Gaz, Dib was already by the door as he had stood still in shock and horror... before he yelled out, "GAZ! THE ALIEN'S IN OUR HOUSE!"

"I know!" Gaz called. "I invited him!"

"WHAT?" Dib said in shock. "WHY WOULD YOU-"

"He's my guest. And you know the rules on guests, Dib!" Gaz smirked as Zim looked up from his game for a brief second.

Dib's eyes widened in horror. "You can't be- Gaz, of all the times you made a friend, this is NOT one of those times!"

"Shut it, Dib boy!" Zim shouted. "She says I'm her guest, so here I stay!"

Gaz giggled as she turned to Zim. "So, what about our alien conquest, Zim?"

Dib screeched as he ran up to his room. Zim looked upstairs before turning to Gaz. "Should we be concerned?"

"No, Dib respects the rules too much. He'll try to find a way around it, but Dad always says that 'no guest is to be harmed unless Professor Membrane harms them first.' He takes that rule VERY seriously." Gaz said.

"Do... I have to be concerned about your dad?" Zim asked.

"Nah. Unless he thinks you're perfect for an experiment or something." Gaz said. "Don't worry, when he comes home, you can go out and I'll tell him that I tripped and fell breaking my leg. He'll drop everything to see I'm okay, so expect my leg to be better the next morning." Gaz said.

"Ah... I see." Zim said as he looked back to his Game Slave, with Gaz returning to her game. "Hey, did you gain invincibility somewhere?"

"Why no." Gaz smirked as she rolled her eyes.

As both alien and girl were playing their games, Dib watched from his room with a glare on his face before closing the door.

* * *

All right, with that, Zim and Gaz have finally bonded, and Dib is establishing himself to become the next week's villain arc! Tune in next time!


	6. Different Kind of Reports

Now getting back to Zim, and his time with Gaz!

* * *

 _"Greetings, my Tallest. Invader Zim reporting, sirs. The mission goes well, but surely you expected it from me. Why yes, my Tallest, I am so very much alive. And full of goo. Mission goo! Let me report to you my findings for this first week. So far, we have blended into this world quite seamlessly. And we've been studying quite well on the locals of this world so far. It was a tough decision for me, but I have blended in to a class in a building called a 'skool' to observe the characteristics of the humans and find out if they're prepared to study. So far, there don't seem to be a threat, and they can easily be taken care of. That is, with the exception of a threat to the mission... subject name; Dib Membrane. According to a source here, he's the only one who believes in us, note I said, ONLY one. The rest either don't believe him or label him as crazy. All in all, he shouldn't be a problem to get rid of. But there is one other character that also knows our secret, but she doesn't really care if I do destroy this planet or not... hang on, I got a picture somewhere... ha ha! This is the Dib-sister, Gaz Membrane. And yes, it comes as a surprise to me that this is the same Dib-creature that believes in us aliens. Like the Dib-creature, this Gaz-creature doesn't care about the threat to the world. At the moment, she's not fighting for any side. Considering maybe taking her in on our side... but you know Irkens only work alone. Yes, GIR, shush! I'll be keeping a close eye on both of them and report to you my findings each week. So, don't be surprised if I take care of the humans before the armada even gets here! Well, I've much work to do, so: Invader Zim, signing off!"_

Up in space, the Tallest were looking at the screen, stunned at the fact that this familiar alien that they thought was gone forever was right here and talking to them in the flesh from the planet they call Earth. Once the screen turned off (but not before GIR knocked Zim off and Zim complaining about his spine), the Tallest Purple could only do something that could summarize his feelings. He screamed at least five times in rapid succession, panicking and crying.

Tallest Red sighed as he tried to take control of the situation. "Hey, hey, hey! Take it easy, take it easy!"

"Why is he still here? Why is he not dead!" The Tallest Purple demanded. "I thought it would be the end of him when we sent him off on that fool's errand! I can't believe he actually found a planet!"

"Fool's luck, that's all it is." Tallest Red sighed. "Just fool's luck."

"What do we do?" Tallest Purple asked, looking over at Tallest Red.

The Tallest with the red eyes could only scoff as he said, "Obviously, nothing. He still thinks he's in on Operation: Impending Doom 2, let him think he's still on that mission. Besides, he said he'll call us weekly, right? So, why don't we just play along with his little game, let him do his weekly reports and just be done with it."

"Do we have to?" The Tallest Purple frowned. "We're not really going to take the reports seriously, are we?"

"Well..." The Tallest Red paused as he put his hand to his chin, thinking about it. "We won't obviously. But if there were something that could bring attention, we COULD respond to the call."

"So... if Zim says that he's been found out and he needs to get out because his ship isn't working?" The Tallest Purple asked.

"Let him rot. We say we're on our way to rescue him, but we'll be sitting back and destroying our planets within the galaxy WE want to concur! Besides, whichever planet Earth comes from... eh, that doesn't sound like a planet worth conquering."

"I like the way you think." The Tallest Purple smiled as he reached for a soda. "I'll drink to that!"

"Same goes for me!" The Tallest Red smiled as he clinked his soda cup with Purple's and both proceeded to sip through their straws.

* * *

Meanwhile, all the way down on Earth, in the Membrane household, Dib was holed up in his room, grumbling and complaining as he had made contact with his group, the Swollen Eyeball Network and reported his findings for the week, but sighing. "I've been trying to get that alien separate from my sister all week, but then she pulls this whole 'the alien is a guest' on me! I hate that stupid guest rule, just because Gaz has a... has a friend! She never has friends, not now, not ever!"

"What about the friends she makes online?" One of the Swollen Eyeball Network people said as Dib sighed.

"She only sees them as competitors. Nothing that screams friends." Dib groaned. "I can't believe this. The first friend that my sister makes that she doesn't want to beat up or even hurt, and it has to be the alien! What does she see in him?"

"Did you try doing the handcuffs we gave you?" The agent asked.

Dib frowned. "I made the mistake of giving them to my sister, who probably just threw them away. Besides, even if she had them, she probably was too powerless over the alien's mind control-"

Dib's eyes widened as he gave a smirk. "Mind control... that's it! My sister was mind controlled by Zim, and that's why she thinks she's his friend! How could I have been so blind! Do you guys have anything that can take off mind control?"

"Well, we do have one thing, but it'll take a couple of weeks to deliver." The agent explained.

"That's fine... take all the time you need..." Dib narrowed his eyes as he gave a hideous looking smirk. "Until then, I'll keep an eye on the alien that's with my sister and see if he makes any mistakes..."

* * *

It had been about at least four days since Zim and Gaz had made friends with each other, Gaz even surprising herself that she was getting used to the stupid alien. But, Gaz couldn't really complain. There was something about ZIM'S stupidness and idiocy that she found a bit... charming. She knew he was going to take over Earth eventually... but she knew he was too stupid to do it... which was why she would happily provide her assistance... And in return, Zim would at least return the favor by stealing someone's brain... the someone being any person who crossed Gaz.

In fact, it was during one of those school days that, when the teacher wasn't paying attention and the others were focused on someone giving a report, Zim would have one organ transplant machine on his head and use it to remove a bully's brain that had dared threatened Gaz. Gaz noticed it as Zim hid the machine innocently.

"I saw that, you know." Gaz whispered.

"What?" Zim raised an eyebrow.

"I saw the organ machine. You better give him his brain back." Gaz whispered back.

"Why?" Zim whispered. "He threatened you."

"Yeah, but you seen me in action. I can take care of myself just as easily." Gaz whispered back.

"Oh sure, like when the crazy hobo cornered you?" Zim smirked.

"Hey! That was one time and you know it!" Gaz frowned.

"Well, excuse me for being the 'hero' of your dreams, Gaz-creature." Zim rolled his eyes.

"I don't dream about you, nor do I dream of heroes." Gaz opened her eyes a bit towards Zim as she rolled her eyes right back at him.

"Ah, sassy as per usual, I see." Zim gave a smile... a little bit happy that Gaz had helped Zim try to tone down the voice a little.

Gaz looked over and noticed the student reaching the end of the report as she whispered, "Better keep eyes on the class, looks like the report is about to wrap up."

"Ah yes, the report." Zim nodded as he and Gaz turned back towards the class just as the last classmate gave his report.

As soon as the kid was done, Mr. Elliot gave a smile as he applauded. "Bravo, Cameron, bravo. You really outdone yourself this time with this."

Gaz could only scoff as she rolled her eyes. Mr. Elliot looked around as he said, "Well, I think we can all learn from the report we were given today. I too, would love to explore the wonders of space. Anybody else want to give a report? Gaz, how about you?"

Gaz looked up as she gave a shrug. "Whatever..."

The purple haired creepy girl was about to get up, when Mr. Elliot said, "Oh, and Gaz, I expect you to actually take this report seriously. I don't want anything related to death or gore or how 'humans are dumb' in this report. Remember, we are a happy community."

"Have you even met or heard of me?" Gaz scoffed as Zim gave a giggle.

Thankfully for most of the others, before Gaz could do her report, the school bell had rung as Elliot looked up at the clock. "Oh my, is it lunch period already? Well no worries. We'll start with Gaz the minute lunch is over."

"Thank goodness for that..." Gaz sighed in relief, though rather said it in a sarcastic tone as she noticed Zim jumping out of his desk and rushing towards the door, waiting for Gaz as she met up with the 'human boy'. "Shall we disperse to the cafeteria?"

"Let's." Zim smiled as he and Gaz started to walk off together.

Mr. Elliot noticed as he gave a smile, saying to himself, "It warms my heart, just seeing two students getting along greatly. You know, I think this Zim fellow might be the key to relaxing Gaz..."

* * *

And this chapter has come to an end. Next time, we'll be seeing Zim just looking at the food as Gaz tries to eat... but much to Dib's dare, Zim would have to try the food that he just stares at... so yeah, this is sort of related to the pilot of the series, sort of, though this is going in a different direction. Until next time!


	7. Food Sickness

Time for more Zim and Gaz adventures!

* * *

The cafeteria of the "skool". Where students of each grade eat lunch at different times of the day... and at the current moment, it was the seventh and sixth grade's turn to have their lunch.

Up at the table, Gaz couldn't help but be amused a bit as she watched Zim doing a march like stance towards Gaz's table that got the attention of some people, but they just ignored it as Zim couldn't help but smile when approaching the table.

"Greetings, Gaz-creature." Zim held his grin as he sat next to the Goth girl.

Gaz slightly opened her right eye as she gave a small smile. "Hey, Zim. We need to have a bit of a talk about the way you walk."

Zim paused as he looked down on his legs. "Eh, am I making it too obvious?"

"Well, you act like you went to a military school at a young age." Gaz explained.

Zim laughed. "The Academy I was at IS a military school! Eh, I suppose."

"Maybe so, but the way you're walking, you make it seem a little obvious." Gaz said as she reached for her juice box and took a sip. "Just... I'm not saying you should stop doing a march, but tone down the marching, just a little."

"All right, all right." Zim sighed as he looked down at the cafeteria food that he had bought and stared at it. He winced a little as Gaz ate one of her sandwiches.

"Don't like the cafeteria food, huh?" Gaz asked, finding Zim's wincing amusing.

Zim looked over at Gaz in suprise, before giving a determined look. "Nonsense. I love cafeteria food! Love it."

"Zim, it's fine if you don't like it. Truthfully, I don't like the cafeteria food either. That's why I often pack my own lunches." Gaz explained. "Only time I'll buy cafeteria food is if there's something interesting on the menu."

Zim looked over towards his goth friend's frowning face, before scoffing. "I just... like to exercise my face before eating, that's all..."

"Exercise your face, hm? Well, that's something interesting now, isn't it... alien?"

"Oh for goodness sake..." Gaz groaned as Zim noticed Dib coming over and sitting next to Gaz as he leaned over next to Zim and gave him a glare. "Why are you here, Dib?"

"What's wrong with sitting next to my little sister?" Dib asked, before glaring at Zim. "Especially since both of us don't have a lot of friends to hang out with."

Zim gave a laugh before saying, "You seem to be mistaken, Dib-boy. Gaz DOES have a friend. I'm her friend."

"I like to see it as more of a partnership, but... yeah, we're friends for the most part." Gaz shrugged, before glaring at Dib. "Dib, what did I say about talking to me at lunch when I'm busy?"

"You don't seem to be busy." Dib frowned as he looked towards Zim. "All I see is an alien trying to control my little sister because he's too afraid to go near me..."

Zim, once again, could only let out a single laugh. "Foolish human. The reason I don't go near your class is because I just don't have the brain capacity for it."

"Liar!" Dib glared.

"Dib... Zim..." Gaz said, looking between the two of them as they both looked ready to stand up.

Zim noticed Gaz's angry face and stopped as he sat back down. But Dib didn't notice as he gave a smirk. "Well, don't let me be a Debbie Downer. You just go back to your lunch... which reminds me, I haven't seen you eating a bite out of it for the past four days. What's the matter, Zim? Don't care for beans?"

Gaz looked over at Dib as she sighed, "Dib, leave the foreign exchange student alone. He's just not a fan of the cafeteria food, that's all. I'm not either, does that make me an alien?"

"Then why did he buy the food, hm, if he's not going to eat it?" Dib smirked as he held out a spoon towards Zim. "Come on, Zim, at least one bite. What are you scared of?"

Zim's eyes narrowed as he snatched the spoon. "Scared? Ridiculous."

Gaz gave a groan as she watched Zim slowly scoop up a spoonful of beans. She looked a bit amused by Zim's nervousness, but gave a sigh as she knew her friend had fallen for Dib's bait. Dib just watched eagerly as Zim put the beans in his mouth and began to chew. As soon as Zim stopped chewing, he gave a happy smirk towards the others. "Now that's good eat- ERK!"

At that moment, Zim had fallen off as Gaz looked a little concerned for her friend, his head starting to grow a little bigger. She gave a sigh as Dib couldn't help but give out the biggest grin he could muster. All of a sudden, Dib turned around as he started to yell out to everyone else in the room.

"LOOK EVERYONE! LOOK, HIS HEAD! IT'S NOT NORMAL!"

Gaz gave a sigh as she whispered to Zim, holding out his hand. "Zim, grab my hand, and don't argue! Come on!"

Zim gave a groan, but nodded as he took Gaz by the hand and both of them snuck out of the cafeteria, Zim leaving behind a bit of a trail of green goo.

"...AND NOW I HAVE PROOF!" Dib said as he pointed to the area where Zim once was. Only to be met by the laughter of many children as he blinked in confusion, followed by one of his classmates shouting, "You're crazy!"

Dib blinked in confusion as he turned back around and noticed Zim was gone. It was at that moment, he noticed Gaz was gone as well as he gave a groan. "Gaz..."

Dib's eyes then lit up as he realized that the green goo that Zim left behind had a trail. He got up and began following the trail.

* * *

"You stay right there." Gaz sighed as she and Zim arrived at the nurse's office as Zim's head grew even bigger. She quickly pulled out a thermometer from her dress pocket as she looked over a giant lightbulb nearby the student's office that was always lit up. Quick as a flash, she put the thermometer under the lightbulb as she watched the temperature rise. She then stood under the lightbulb and waited as sweat started to form around her head.

Giving a quick nod, she put the thermometer in her mouth as Zim groaned, holding his head. "What are you doing... Gaz-creature?"

"What does it look like?" Gaz asked as she knocked on the door to the nurse's room. "Don't ask questions, just act normal."

"Normal? I can do that..." Zim groaned as both of them heard the gruff voice.

"Come in." The nurse said as the two entered inside. Around that time, Dib had watched from a corner as he raised an eyebrow.

"Why would Gaz take that alien to the nurs- wait a minute! The nurse might notice something off with Zim! Maybe she'll notice that his organs are acting differently and... yes, yes! I knew Gaz was just playing along all along! Oh, I am so happy for her! Oh, how I wish I could be there to see the nurse react when she finds that Zim is..."

* * *

"...very sick." Gaz gave a cough. "And so is my friend. We had an allergic reaction to the food in the cafeteria."

"Ergh... yeah..." Zim groaned as he held his head as the nurse examined them.

"Hmmm..." The nurse paused as she gave a nod, feeling both of their heads. "Goodness, you two seem to have a very high fever!"

Zim coughed as he barfed up a few beans before groaning. The nurse paused as she examined the boy. "And it seems the Belgium boy is a little sick. I think what he needs is to get home right away! You too, Gaz. You're running a high fever!"

"Eh, gee, I wondered why I was feeling so light-headed..." Gaz groaned, before winking at Zim. Zim just looked at Gaz in confusion before the nurse got up.

"Until the allergic reaction is out of your system, I'm afraid you won't be staying here at skool for the rest of the day. Would you like me to call your parents?"

"No, I'll do it." Gaz said as she got up. "I'm sure they'll understand. Let me just get to the phone and I'll call Dad."

"Very well. After you call, you can wait outside for them." The nurse said.

"All right." Gaz said as she got up. "Come on, Zim, we better get home."

"Ugh... right..." Zim groaned as he got up and started to head out with Gaz.

* * *

"I can see the headlines now!" Dib gave a grin as he looked up at the ceiling as two figures came out of the nurse's office. "Dib and Gaz, Membrane Siblings, Exposing Alien Plans!"

"Bye, Dib. I'm going home." Gaz said as she took Zim off.

"Okay, bye Gaz." Dib said not noticing or caring as he gave a smile. "Man, maybe we can finally see what his ali-"

Dib's eyes widened in shock as they narrowed as they turned towards the departing Zim and Gaz. "WAIT A MINUTE! HEY!"

But before Dib could give chase, he ran into a frowning Miss Bitters, who had her arms crossed in disappointment.

"Well, well, well, breaking the rules, are we?" Miss Bitters frowned. "You didn't show up after lunch to class, and you made me look for you."

"But-" Dib started.

"I don't want to hear it from you, Dib! DETENTION!" Miss Bitters called out. "Now get to class!"

"But I'm so cl-" Dib started, before he felt himself being dragged away by the sliterhing teacher. "NOOOOOO!"

* * *

"...I couldn't... help but notice you passed by the phone." Zim groaned as his head grew even bigger and grotesque.

"I'm not going to call Dad and tell him I'm faking a fever." Gaz sighed as they both went outside as the purple haired girl gave a smile, holding both of their doctor's notes.

"...then why did you fake being sick when I'm the only one who got the worst of it?" Zim asked.

"Skool's stupid anyway. And besides, I was not in the mood to give out my report when I got back to class." Gaz gave a groan. "And besides, I don't know how I would feel if you weren't here..."

"Awww... so you do like this Belgium boy..." Zim coughed a little.

"Don't push your luck." Gaz rolled her eyes. "Okay, Zim, can you tell me where you live?"

Zim looked at Gaz and can only laugh at that remark. "You think, I, an Irken invader, will tell you where my secret base is? Not a chance!"

"Listen, I only got you out of the nurse's office because we were lucky the nurse didn't think to examine you for what type of organs you have!" Gaz groaned. "And don't even think about organ transfers. If I take you to a hospital, they'll think something was up."

Zim's eyes widened as he turned towards Gaz. "Do you think those doctors would try to harm me?"

"Try? They'd experiment. I think you might have your own first-aid kit back where you live. So, just let me take you there... and don't bother calling your robot. I don't think you can take fast speeds with that head of yours." Gaz explained.

Zim opened his mouth to argue, but felt his head throbbing as he groaned, holding it. "Ergh... fine, you have a point. Very well... I'll tell you where I live, but you keep this a secret, got it?"

"Whatever." Gaz rolled her eyes. "Just lead the way, 'hero'."

Zim didn't have any room to argue as they both started to head in the easternly direction.

* * *

And that's it for this chapter. Next time, Zim will get his allergic reaction out of his system, with Gaz staying at Zim's house... as they discuss the various foods that Irkens CAN eat! Until next time!


	8. Talking of Food

Here we go with a new chapter!

* * *

That afternoon, Gaz quickly had Zim by the hand as he slowly lead her to his headquarters, against his better judgement. But he trusted Gaz well enough to take him home as they soon arrived. Gaz examined the place where they were going thoroughly as she noted the odd green color of the house inbetween two large apartment buildings, along with some odd garden gnomes, a pink flamingo, two puffer fish, and a flag that said 'I Love Earth', with the word love being replaced with a heart. It was the small house that caught Gaz's attention that she looked inbetween the the small house... large pipes were attached inbetween two apartment buildings, but there was also a large satellite dish, some large windows, and the roof looked like it was divided, looking more like a zipper that would open up to reveal a hangar. From a distance... she noticed that the door to Zim's house was a men's bathroom door.

Zim coughed as he spat out some beans. "Thanks for... taking me home, Gaz-creature... you can go now, I can get better from here..."

"Nothing doing, I'm not going back to my house." Gaz shook her head as Zim frowned.

"Why?" Zim asked.

"For one thing, Dad will flip if he figures out I skipped school. He'll realize something's up, call the skool, then he'll examine I'm sick, and then I have to tell him about you and-" Gaz listed as Zim's eyes widened.

"Okay, okay, I get the idea. Fine, you can stay in until the skool day is over. Three o'clock?" Zim asked.

Gaz nodded as Zim turned towards the house. "Just follow me inside. And don't worry about the lawn gnomes. As long as they see you're with me, they won't think you a threat."

Gaz raised an eyebrow, wondering what he meant by that, but didn't argue as she followed Zim inside. She couldn't help but notice the trail of green goo he was leaking out as his head grew even worse.

As soon as they approached the door, two robotic humans opened the door, odd-looking robots with dumb smiles as they said, "Welcome home, son!"

Gaz couldn't help but judge the obvious robotic tone the robo-parents had set up. She did get that Zim would have to be a student here, because of the height issue, but could he make himself any more obvious he's an alien? Well, so far, Gaz thought, it didn't seem to call attention, so whatever he's doing right, I won't complain about it.

"Welcome to my..." Zim coughed. "...humble abode. I'll take you on the tour in a moment, but first... GIR!"

GIR, watching some TV from the couch, lifted his head up as he jumped up and stood to attention, his eyes turning red. "Yes, my Lord!"

"GIR... my head is..." Zim groaned.

"It's HUGE!" GIR said in excitement.

"Yes... make it less so." Zim groaned.

"OKEY DOKIE!" GIR called out as he jumped on Zim's grotesque head and started to suck out all the pus from inside, Gaz looking like she was about to throw up a little, until Zim's head has returned to normal.

"How do you feel?" Gaz asked.

"I feel..." Zim took a deep breath... before putting on a smile. "NEVER BETTER! NO BEAN WILL OUTSMART THIS IRKEN INVADER!"

"At least you're back to your idiotic, screamy self." Gaz rolled her eyes... before giving a small smile of relief before turning to GIR. "Gir, could you do us a favor, and throw that... pus filled bag and leave a trail outside, and walk around the city until the bag is empty?"

GIR could only give a smile as he opened the door and dragged the pus-filled bag out into the sidewalk before opening it as he started to drag it outside. Zim looked in confusion as Gaz explained, "In case Dib decides to follow the trail... chances are, he might figure out this odd house is yours anyway, but better to be safe than sorry."

"Hmmm..." Zim gave a smile... before pausing. "Wait, what do you mean he'll recognize my house!"

"You may have everyone in this neighborhood fooled, but luck will get you nowhere." Gaz sighed as she sat down on the huge couch. "For one thing, the house is a little... small in comparison to some of the other houses. The wires and the satellite dish make sense, but eventually, you might want to reconsider some... redecorating."

Zim opened his mouth to argue before he noticed Gaz's hand clenching into a fist. Being wise not to anger his bodyguard/friend, Zim sighed. "I'll... see what I can do. Now, then, the tour?"

Gaz nodded as Zim started to show Gaz around the base, the inside of the base... which would seem to be an ordinary house, save for the toilet in the kitchen. As soon as Zim was done was done with the tour, he asked, "So... any questions about the marvelous base?"

"Just one. Why the toilet in the kitchen?" Gaz asked. "Do you have that in there because it leads somewhere?"

Zim looked surprised at that question, before laughing. "Silly Gaz-creature. Who doesn't have a toilet in their kitchen!"

Zim continued laughing as Gaz rolled her eyes. "That's an elevator leading to a secret lab, isn't it?"

The alien opened his eyes in shock as he asked, "How did you know that? ANSWER ME!"

"You just told me." Gaz simply said.

"LIES!" Zim looked back and blushed in embarrassment... before coughing. "Anyway, I would love to show you that secret base, but I don't want to reveal any more because, I can't quite trust my own bodyguard yet..."

"...truly, I'm hurt." Gaz feigned pain in her face. "Well, I guess since we're both here, I suppose we both have the same question in our heads..."

"Eh? We do?" Zim asked.

"Indeed we do. What can you eat on Earth and what CAN'T you eat on Earth? We already know beans is one you can't eat..." Gaz said.

Zim looked surprised, before frowning. "Do we really need to know this?"

"Hey, you're the one trying to blend into Earth, Zimmy. You live with us, you have to eat like us." Gaz sighed as she pulled out a notepad and a pencil. "I guess we should start with the basics... on Irk. Do you usually eat?"

Zim scoffed. "Of course we do, what kind of question is that?"

"All right then... what foods can you eat on Irk?" Gaz asked as she started to put pencil to paper.

"Let me think here... we have coffee... donuts, nachos, churros, tacos, pizza..." Zim started to list as Gaz began to write them down, before pausing.

"Uh, Zim? We have those things on Earth." Gaz pointed out. "Tell me, Zim, do you have... beans on Irk? Just answer with a yes or no question."

Zim took a while to think about that one. "As far as I know... not exactly, no. On the other hand, the only food we always ate were either from snack machines or made in Foodcourtia."

Gaz paused as she noticed GIR coming in with an empty bag. She got an idea as she turned to Zim. "Uh, Zim, you wouldn't by any chance have brought some... Irken food with you, would you?"

"Weird time to be thinking about snacks, but okay. I think I have a stash of chips somewhere..." Zim said as he started to go off. "Don't go away."

As soon as Zim started to head for the kitchen to get in the toilet, Gaz turned to GIR as she pulled out a few dollars. "Go out to the store and get me a small bag of potato chips. Any kind will do."

"OKAY!" GIR said happily as he quickly flew out.

Gaz gave a nod of confirmation as she started to write something down of interest. She was more interested in getting to the bottom of the mystery more than ever before.

* * *

And with that, we have the next episode's new plot... finding out the mystery between Earth food and Irken food! What are the differences, exactly? Find out next time!


	9. Florofleen

Here we go with a new chapter!

* * *

A few minutes later, as Zim was sitting down on the couch, Gaz was looking over the labels of a regular bag of chips, and the bag of chips that the alien had given her. "Hmmmm... mmmmmm..."

"What is it? WHAT IS IT?" Zim said in concern. "Is it bad? JUST GIVE THE NEWS!"

"First of all, ow, Zim, lower your voice a notch." Gaz groaned as she rubbed her ears.

"NEVER!" Zim called out as Gaz looked over to the alien.

"Second of all, these chips are quite the same, and yet... they're different in terms of ingredients." Gaz said as Zim raised an eyebrow.

"Ingredients?" Zim asked.

Gaz gave a nod. "Yeah, look. Most of the ingredients in these bags of chips are the same, salt, potatoes, vegetable oil, all of that. The only difference is that there seems to be one extra ingredient in your version of chips..."

"What's that?" The Irken asked.

"Zim, what exactly is 'Florofleen'?" Gaz raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

Zim's eyes lit up as he gasped, "You never heard of the greatest ingredient in the galaxy! Florofleen is the only thing that can make food taste really good! For without the taste of Florofleen, you have no purpose... no life... not even a trinkle of delight..."

Gaz could only scoff as she opened the bag of Irken chips. "Hmph. I'll be the judge of that."

"Uh, Gaz-creature, I don't know if Florofleen has the same effect as..." Zim started to say before Gaz pulled out a chip and started chewing on it. "Oh boy..."

The purple haired Goth girl started chewing on the chip as she savored the taste of it... before her eyes widened in shock as her amber eyes began to shine in delight as something started to go on in her mind...

* * *

 _Gaz was happily swinging on a swing in the playground as Irken chips began to rain in the sky. Gaz found herself happily laughing and giggling in delight as she jumped out of the swing and into a pool of chips as she was swimming in the chippiness.  
_

* * *

Gaz smiled immediately as she grabbed another chip and started eating it. "Mmmmm... mmmmmm! MMMMMMMM!"

Zim looked confused and surprised as Gaz immediately downed the whole bag of chips as she threw them aside and gave a smile and a sigh of happiness. "Er, I can easily diagnose that you have an affinity to Florofleen."

"Florofleen chips... they taste like... heaven in your mouth..." Gaz gave an uncharacteristic happy smile as she laid her head down on the Irken's legs, cuddling up. "Zim, you need to take me to the planet where Florofleen is produced... I need more of this..."

Zim gave a laugh as he said, "Well, if you like the chips with FLorofleen, wait until you taste the pizza with Florofleen."

Gaz immediately snapped out of it for a brief moment as she gave a laugh. "Please, Zim. The best pizza in the world is Bloaty's. There's no way someone can make pizza good with Florofleen. I'll give you the chips, I'll never want to eat Earth chips again, but Bloaty's pizza is for me!"

Zim paused as he looked up at the sky and shrugged. "Well, okay. If you don't want pizza with Florofleen in it, I guess we won't have it. We'd have to go out into space anyway to Foodcourtia, and... er, I'm not sure if that would be a good idea to go back there, because I know somebody there who's... not too happy to see me right now... and... hmmm... but no matter! ZIM IS BACK AND READY TO CONQUER EARTH! And with you by my side, Gaz-creature, we can-"

"How good would you say the pizza in Foodcourtia is? Say, better than Bloaty's?" Gaz raised an eyebrow.

"Er, well... I wouldn't exactly tell you, since I haven't tried any of this... bloating pizza, but I can assure you, it's better tasting!" Zim smirked. "Now, about my first plan for world conque-"

"We're going."

Zim blinked as Gaz got up from his lap as the alien looked confused. "Eh? Going where?"

"To Foodcourtia, of course! You said they serve the best pizza, and I want to judge for myself!" Gaz said as she started to look at the alien, whose eyes widened in surprise.

Zim stared at the purple haired human in surprise... before laughing at her face. Gaz frowned a little as her teeth gritted before saying, "I'm not joking, Zim. Take me to Foodcourtia."

Zim slowly stopped laughing as he noted the serious look on Gaz's face. "Suppose I refuse your offer?"

The purple haired girl responded by grabbing a table and tossing it at the TV, breaking it in two. GIR, who was standing nearby, gasped in horror as he started to cry. "THE TV! NO! WHY! WHY!"

Zim, on the other hand, yelped a little as he tugged on his collar nervously. "You make a compelling argument, Gaz-creature."

"Darn right I do." Gaz gave a smirk.

* * *

"Er... are you really sure you should go to Foodcourtia with me right now? Suppose your... relatives notice you're not here... it's a few days trip to Foodcourtia and back." Zim pointed out.

"Sheesh, it's fine. Besides, I need to get away from the school anyway... and besides, the only person who would really notice is Dib, and really, would what he say matter in the slightest?" Gaz asked.

The alien paused as he thought about it. "I suppose you bring up a point..."

"Then chop chop, Zim. Foodcourtia time! GO!" Gaz said as she settled down as Gir plopped down on her lap and fell asleep on it. The girl then pulled out her Game Slave and turned it on. "Let me know when we're there."

Zim paused as he looked towards his friend/partner, but gave a sigh as he turned the key to the spaceship as the ship began to blast off into the sky, and right into space. The green skinned alien couldn't help but give a sigh as he started to get slightly worried. When he stepped back into Foodcourtia... would anyone notice he's there? On top of that... what if Sizz-Lorr spotted him? His mission would never get accomplished if he was in Foodcourtia any longer than he had to be.

But Zim took a deep breath as he started to guide his ship to send him to their destination as he sighed. "Maybe if I'm lucky, he won't even know I was here..."

* * *

And with that, Zim and Gaz are about to head out for their first space adventure together... but what obstacles will they have to face? Find out next time!


End file.
